A lot of people fall into this trap, and that’s the reason why they fail to motivate others.
Rules are good. They set guidelines for an organization, a company, or even within a family. However, most rules tend to dictate to people what they shouldn’t do, such as “No Smoking Allowed”, or “Do not be late”. Too much focus on rules choke people, and affects their behaviour. For example, a lot of managers or bosses tend to say “I don’t like to see this” or “I don’t want to see unprofessional behaviour around here.” Dwelling on those kinds of statements sucks the motivation out of people.
Instead of talking about what you don’t want, talk about things that you do want. For example, say to your kids, “When you grow up, I want you to become successful, happy, and independent minded people.” That’s way much better than saying, “I don’t want you to become drug addicts or gangsters when you grow up.” When you talk about what you want, you have a better chance of positively influencing the behaviour of people around you.