A Zen Buddhist would call this the voice of your Monkey Mind.

We all have monkey minds.

In fact Buddha described the human mind as being filled with not one, but dozens of drunken monkeys chattering away and causing havoc. Fear is a particularly rowdy monkey, constantly sounding the alarm and warning us of all of the things that we should be wary of and everything that could go wrong.

So it turns out all you need to do to keep those little monkeys quiet is to eat a banana.

Only joking. If only it were that simple, but these monkeys won’t be calmed so easily (unless perhaps you were mindfully eating the banana).

Let’s take a look at what you really need to do…

Taming The Drunken Monkeys

Buddha taught his students how to meditate in order to tame the drunken monkeys in their minds. Meditation quiets the Monkey Mind. It calms the drunken monkeys – spending some time in quiet meditation — simply calming your mind by focusing on your breathing or a simple mantra — will, over time, tame the monkeys. They will grow more peaceful if you lovingly bring them into submission with a consistent practice of meditation.

Talking to them works too, but must be done calmly – it’s useless to fight with the monkeys or to try to banish them from your mind because, as we all know, that which you resist persists.

So gentle conversation can work. This is akin to challenging your Limiting Beliefs which we already covered in a number of separate articles (summarised here: Limiting Beliefs: 3 Different Approaches To Tackle Them & Find More Confidence).

It works because most of the time our fears are unfounded or grossly exaggerated, but more importantly, even if they are justified there is always something we can do about them.

Difficulties Meditating?

Personally whenever I’ve tried meditating in the past I’ve found it really difficult.

Physical aches and pains such as an uncomfortable seating position or a bad back have been far less of a challenge than the constant internal dialogue I have going on in my head.

It’s very important to note here that meditation is not at all about trying to switch off this mental chatter but instead to allow it to go on.

Here are some things that the monkey mind might do to distract you from meditating:

• This is Boring!! – Your monkey mind tells you it’s feeling bored. Not surprising really and this one has happened to me a lot whenever I’ve tried to meditate. If you’re used to being very active, and particularly if you have a very active (monkey) mind, then meditation will feel very different. Recognising this for what it is, go deeper into your meditation and you will effectively train your monkey mind that not only is meditation something that you *will* be doing but that it is something worth doing (hence calming the monkey & the ‘bored game’).
• Can’t get this song out of my head – Do you ever have a song in your head that you can’t get out? It happens to me and often it’s not even a song that I’m particularly fond of!! Moneky Mind doesn’t deal with silence very well, so it often pops a record on. Even when you have come to terms with your thoughts, your monkey mind may just try new tactics, such as playing music or singing a catchy song.
• I’ve got too much to do!! – Monkey mind is very good at reminding us just how busy we are. One way this might happen is a walk-through of your ‘To-Do’ list.
• This is so weird/funny!! – Your monkey mind starts commentating on the situation, whether making observations about your own feelings or behaviour, your surroundings or the people around you.

The solution to all of these interruptions is the same. Accept the monkey mind behaviour, it’s going to happen. Don’t ignore it but also don’t engage with it, just let it happen and continue with your meditation. Each time your monkey mind disturbs your concentration, don’t react, just bring your focus gently back to the meditation, to where it was before your concentration was disturbed. Practice accepting the monkey mind’s antics and let it go. You are in control. Do this and your monkey mind will soon get the idea.

Meditation and mindfulness can really, really help calm a monkey mind, but you need to be careful which kind of meditation you pick. For example the types of meditation where you sit silently for hours might not be the best place for you to start, if you have a very active internal dialogue.

Mindfulness for me is much easier and I can relate to it a lot easier than meditating. Mindfulness is about switching off from distractions and instead being in the moment. It is relatively easy to be in the moment, as simple as bringing your attention to the things around you or to yourself in this moment.

So that’s why Mindfulness is top of my list of further things you can do to calm the monkey mind.

16 Further Ways To Tame Your Monkey Mind

Here are some further ideas for how to tame your monkey mind and silence some of that mental chatter:

• Practice Mindfulness – in the company of our chattering monkeys, it becomes near on impossible to be present and focused on the moment we are in. When we bring our attention back to the present moment, the voices in our head become quieter as our attention shifts to the here and now (where it should be). Add to this that a lot of our worries tend to be concerned with the past or the future and mindfulness is a great way to calm these internal dialogues.
• Know that Your Monkey Mind Can Be Tamed – A huge step in your quest to calm your monkey mind is in simply knowing that it is possible to do so. Your thoughts don’t rule you. You rule your thoughts.
• Occupy your Monkey Mind – give it a job to do and a different focus. Ignoring your monkey mind is a big no-no (the voices will just get louder), but there’s nothing to say you can’t distract your monkey mind. Your monkey mind is used to working very hard and, like any workaholic, it finds it hard to switch off. It deserves your compassion – but not your sympathy!
• Adopt a Taoist approach to events around you (like the Chinese farmer) – look at life as nothing more than a series of actions and consequences, but realising that each consequence is not necessarily a good or a bad thing (however it may seem at first glance) – because we never really know what the ongoing consequences might be or what the future holds.
• Give your Monkey Mind a Sandbox to play in – invite your monkey mind to run amok for a set time every day but outside of that time refuse to listen to it, your monkey mind should learn that it’s pointless to try and get your attention outside of this allocated time.
• Practice Qigong – Qigong is a great form of moving meditation. It is done in tune with your breathing and as such is a great way to achieve calm and hence calm the monkey mind.
• Stop Over-Analysing – sometimes we simply assign too much meaning to things rather than simply accepting things as they are. We project too much into the future and concern ourselves too much with what-ifs that may never happen (Cicero’s 2nd mistake). This is basically our monkey mind having a field day. At best, we have exaggerated something (as the Swedish would say ‘Worry gives a small thing a big shadow’) at worst we are worrying for no reason whatsoever. Picasso once said it would be great if we could remove our brains and use only our eyes. Now there’s living in the moment!
• Keep a Journal – Writing things down can be immensely helpful for some people. The act of writing can be helpful in itself as they give thoughts and problems a different ‘feel’ when they are expressed this way, but a journal can also be used as an analytical tool – for example to track times and situations which are particular triggers for the monkey mind (and can therefore once known be managed or avoided altogether).
• Use the 5’s Method – A great way to bring your attention back to the here and now is to switch your attention to five things in your immediate environment. Even better if you use a combiation of your senses – i.e. rather than just picking 5 things that you can see, try making a couple of these things that you can hear or smell. You will find when you do this that the voice(s) in your head have been silenced as all of your attention has been placed in the present moment (where it should be).
• Remember who’s boss (you are!) – in case you haven’t realised by now, you are the one who is in control – if you want to be. You can detach yourself from the voices in your head. Yes it’s still you but it’s effectively a different part of you. Once your monkey mind realises who’s boss things will start changing quite significantly. Remember though that you are dealing with unpredictable, excitable monkeys, so you need to be a compassionate and caring boss to calm the voices. Ignoring the voices or fighting them will not go well.
• Practice Pranayama – Pranayama (deep breathing) helps you relax because it mimics the feeling of already being relaxed. Deep breathing sends the message to your brain to relax and calm the monkeys. The brain can then send the same message to your body, reducing your heart rate, slowing your breathing, and lowering your blood pressure.
• Use a Mantra – for some people mantras work quite well. This is again a way of shifting focus. It’s a little like NLP anchoring in that you provide a trigger which you can call upon any time you need to effectively take attention away from wherever it was and put it in a better place – a bit like reminding yourself, a cue if you like. The mantra can be a word, a phrase or even a sound, whichever works best for you. You can ‘think’ the mantra or say it out loud. The latter engages more of your senses so may be more effective to distract your monkey mind. Positive mantras also obviously replace any negativity coming from your monkey mind with positivity instead.
• Try Shinrin-Yoku – Getting close to nature is a great way to appreciate being in the moment and forest walking (Shinrin-Yoku) is perfect for this. Try combining this with Mindfulness appreciating your wonderful surroundings, use the 5’s method described above if necessary.
• Focus on Something – The great thing about meditation and mindfulness is the shift in focus. With mindfulness it is a shift in focus to the here and now and with meditation it is more about having a focus on only one thing (which is easier said than done) such as your breath and calming everything else. Each of these as we’ve discussed from various perspectives above shifts focus away from your monkey mind and whatever it’s chattering about – but you don’t necessarily need mindfulness or meditation for that. Have you ever noticed that when you are really engaged in something, really focused on a given task, that your monkey mind doesn’t bother you? When your attention is drawn fully into any given activity, that leaves no attention left over for mental chatter.
• Exercise – The endorphin rush of physical exercise such as running quietens the Monkey Mind.
• Practice Yoga – Like Qi-Gong, Yoga is a great way to calm the Monkey Mind. If you don’t like sitting meditation, try one of these forms of moving meditation. The addition of some exercise and having something for your body to do if nothing else will stop your monkey mind playing the ‘bored game’.

Final Thought

Learning to manage your monkey mind is one of the best things you can do to transform any negative emotions such as fear, stress, anger or self-doubt. Don’t be afraid to listen to your monkey mind, ignoring it or challenging it will not solve anything.

We tend to give our attention to too many things at once (often spending too much time in the past or worrying about what we are yet to do instead of living in the here and now). This creates unnecessarily busy lives and lots of the loose ends we discussed in last week’s article.

A well trained Monkey Mind is actually a great ally. In our busy lives, he keeps on top of things. Problems only happen when we let our Monkey Mind run amok, allow ourselves to become too busy, too stressed, too over-analytical, too judgemental, too concerned with things out of our control, outside of the here and now.

The Buddhist approach recommends quiet meditation but there are many other ways to tame the monkey mind as shown above.

The future is always uncertain; none of us know what is coming tomorrow. hence where the Taoist approach may help. Either way, approaching the new day with anxiousness doesn’t help to solve anything and inhibits our ability to be in the moment.

“If your problem has a solution then why worry about it? If your problem doesn’t have a solution then why worry about it?”

~ Chinese Proverb

 
As mentioned above, other techniques that can be used to harmonise with your monkey include moving meditations such as Qigong, Yoga and Tai Chi as well as aides for anticipating, recognising and dealing with the mental chatter such as journalling, the 5’s method and gentle conversation with your monkey(s).

Learn how to change the conversations in your head or at least how you react to them. Find a way to spend more time in the here and now and gently challenge any limiting beliefs you have. You will see that the results can be hugely transformative.