We share it freely with friends and people we care about, and in intimate relationships, it deepens with trust and understanding. But love is a double-edged sword. When trust breaks, love’s warmth can turn to the sting of betrayal. This is especially true with those we hold close, as they have the power to hurt us most deeply.

Yet, love is all around us. A kind word, a simple gesture, or a warm smile can sometimes be all it takes to really help someone.

I had a friend visit me last week with his 13 year old son. On their first day I took them to a bakery I like and wanted to buy us lots of goodies. I took way too much. Chatting to the shopkeeper, my friend asked her where she was from and she returned the same question. As my friend comes from a part of the world where there is a great deal of conflict, she waved her hand at us in a gesture that said ‘please take the food, it is offered’. She wouldn’t let me pay. This act of kindness instantly gave me a warm feeling throughout my body and was a great start to the week. She didn’t need to do that but she did, and this simple act, fueled by compassion and love, brightened our day.

Hurt is a fact of life. Misunderstandings, arguments, and the need to be right create a fertile ground for resentment and/or feeling wrongly accused. We can also often hurt each other without really intending to – and that again is magnified between people closer to each other. Maybe that deep sense of betrayal comes from us expecting that person to know us better, or trust us more.

If I meet a stranger in the street, he has much less capacity to cause me hurt than anyone I am close to, no matter what he does.

Forgiveness isn’t about condoning the hurt, but about removing the association between hurt that you feel and the person who caused it. Hopefully in doing so, you will remove the tendency to blame them and hold on to resentment toward that person. You also remove some of the power that person has over you (whether intentional or not) to cause you any more hurt.. The hurt may remain, but the sting lessens – and when you think of them it will also be a lot easier – because the people we are close to do occupy our thoughts.

I also believe that we are all connected. If I hurt you, I am also hurting myself, and vice-versa, if you hurt me, you are also hurting yourself. Again, this is magnified when that connection is stronger. I am still connected to the stranger in the street, but less so.

When I created this website, I just thought ‘Life’s Too Good’, so I called it that. I wanted to write about enjoying every moment of life and all it has to offer and explore some of the concepts , psychology and philosophy around that. Life has its challenges and through some of my own, I’ve learned the value of reducing stress and these have only made the original ideas I have always had more important – to try to live in the moment, enjoy life more and encourage others to do the same.

I believe there needs to be more love, less hurt and more forgiveness. That is important because we are all connected and so benefit far more from looking after each other (like the woman in the bakery) than from fighting and hurting each other.