Opportunities to communicate, collaborate and test our thoughts and ideas with others are all working a little differently at the moment – the level of social interaction is just, well… different.

So what can we do about it?

I’d like to touch on no less than 4 different perspectives (NLP, world view, mindfulness, Cicero), but all of which are along the same theme – working on something internal – something within ourselves, something over which we have 100% control.

First of all as a kind of ‘starter’, I want to share with you a Chinese proverb that I love:

In NLP parlance people can have a strong internal or external frame of reference. An example of an external frame of reference is when you get validation from the outside world – which can be anything from a flashing light on your toothbrush persuading you that you need to charge it up to feeling better about yourself because your boss tells you you’ve done a good job (the internal frame of reference being that you didn’t need your boss to tell you, you know you’ve done a good job and only need to satisfy yourself of that to be happy about it).

Speaking of the outside world, did you know we also have an inside world, the world that exists in your mind. Which world are you in? The outside world is largely outside of your control. All the things that are external to you. They exist and influence you and in some situations you may have some influence on the outside world too, but the outside world at large is generally outside of the control of most of us. The inside world, on the other hand, is largely under your control. It’s who you are, what you think, how you feel, your entire existence.

Focus on What You Can Control

Here’s the good news – you can control your world.

Though it can be very useful to have an external frame of reference for any given thing, in the outside world as it stands right now, particularly from people around you these external validations are just more limited than usual. The good news (yes, more good news) is that you don’t need these anything like as much as you think you do or at least not in the same way. Work on your self belief and strengthen your internal frame of reference, where needed substitute any external frames of reference with the resources you have available (e.g. the internet).

Spend time in the moment, focus more on what you can do now. Now is what we can control, now is when we can act. We cannot change the past (though we can learn from it) and the only way we can possibly influence the future is by what we do right now. Avoid spending too much time in the past or in the future, spend your time in the present. If you feel your mind wandering into the past or into the future (particularly if you are worrying about either) then bring your thoughts calmly back to the present.

Very much like the Chinese proverb above, as my old buddy Cicero very wisely states, why waste any time worrying about things we cannot change? It’s one of his ‘6 Mistakes of Man’ which, as far as super cool philosophy goes, I’m a huge fan of (here are all of them: Why Cicero’s 6 Mistakes of Man is All You Need).

Your thoughts can only be in one place at once. Make sure this is a place that is productive, make sure that this is a place where you want to be. If your thoughts are unhealthy, replace them with healthy thoughts. This is not always easy as the mind can drift, but you can control this by replacing the thoughts with something else. Do this repeatedly and it will become easier the more you practice.

The inside world is where we need to spend our time, and we have more control over it than we think. The outside world is difficult to change, but the inside world can change in a single thought. If you want to lessen the impact that the outside world inflicts on you, give some more time and focus to your inside world. Take control of it, try something new, empower yourself, your health, your resources, your reserves. It’s your world, quite literally, so do whatever you can to make it work for you.

The more you own your world, the happier – and healthier – you will be.