We all like to be liked.

The thing is, you are probably liked anyway.

Take this as your default setting. Assuming you are not going around doing things not to be liked, people will either be indifferent or they will probably like you. Not many people are out there going about their daily lives looking for people to dislike. Get the point? Good.

So whilst it does feel good when we get approval, a pat on the back, a share, a like, a retweet, a thumbs up, a round of applause, three little kisses…

The need for all of this is also subtly working against you.

As I said in a previous post, attachment (or craving) according to Buddhism is the first source of suffering. In this case, craving validation or approval.

When we rely on validation to feel good and get ahead, when we crave that feedback and approval, it means we become more and more scared of rejection by default too. That can be a very dangerous thing. It can stop us in our tracks.

This can be a path to anxiety and make us feel on edge all the time. In my view it is happening more and more these days where we are more ‘connected’ than ever and ‘on show’ all of the time. We keep getting these little validations (likes, +1’s, thumbs ups…) whether we asked for them or not and before long we’re looking for them before we move an inch.

Let go of the need for validation & be open to people disagreeing with you, welcome it and whatever you do don’t be afraid of it. You have to be willing to attract disagreement and have your ego bruised every now and then without that being a big deal. This is a core trait of those who go places in life, they don’t need so much external approval to move forwards.