The Stress of Uncertainty
It’s a popular idea that we need to have a purpose, to know or find our (life) purpose.
I’ve never thought a ‘life purpose’ is absolutely necessary personally as I don’t think it fits with my general philosophy but I guess I probably do want to feel that I know what I am about and maybe also broadly where I am heading in life (though I haven’t given that too much thought until recently).
I’ve always thought if you have this kind of mission (a life purpose), big or small, short term or long term, then fine, but if you don’t, also fine, so long as you are comfortable with that.
As JRR Tolkein once said, ‘Not all who wander are lost’ (one of my favourite quotes).
What I do recognise is that a cause of stress in my life has been any time I have felt a lot of uncertainty, felt lost or in limbo and that I don’t deal with uncertainty well – including any times I’ve felt unsure of myself.
It’s all very well to say live in the moment, try not to be in your head too much and live your current experience rather than dwelling in the past or wondering about the future…
… but sometimes we have open questions, unmade decisions or unsolved problems out there and these form part of our current experience.
As we know the answer to those open questions could come back as any number of different outcomes some of which could be very problematic – and that uncertainty can be very stressful, the anticipation of those most feared outcomes.
I guess the Buddhist or Stoic point of view on this would be not to dwell on it too much and to accept whatever uncertainty is out there, take whatever actions you feel you need to take and not get too wrapped up in worrying about the possible outcomes, however bad they may be. Worst case take the Buddhist view that life is suffering and these challenges will come our way. Embrace it and lean into it rather than being afraid.
Maybe that’s why very spiritual people are happy with very little because removing a lot of life’s complexities, possessions and even relationships removes a lot of possibilities for these open questions, decisions, conflicts and uncertainty. Simplifying life removes a lot of the drama.
I actually like life’s complexities, challenges (sometimes), relationships… I just struggle sometimes with the inevitable emotional baggage which comes along with such a life – particularly worrying about things that are hanging out there waiting to potentially go wrong.
I’m sure this is a common problem for a lot of people, especially when these problems are big and involve other people, emotions, life-changing events, disagreements with people you love (or even people you don’t but are somehow involved with), huge financial decisions, or even the culmination of lots of smaller things that just become too much.
I don’t have a particular answer to the stress of uncertainty beyond that (the point I made about acceptance above) other than to say that even though I stand by everything I write about mindfulness, Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, Stoicism etc. but I also acknowledge it’s not always easy (also because it is something I’m really struggling with at the moment).
Sorry to hear you’re struggling with this, and I hear you loud and clear. Wish I had an answer, having a lot of uncertainty in your life is exhuasting.