Sorry to be a bit brutal about this but did it occur to you that that person didn’t actually need (or want) your help?

That you were sticking your nose in (albeit with good intentions) when you really shouldn’t have been?

Maybe you see someone you love making choices that you think are wrong.

Obviously you want to help. So instead of minding your own business you decide it’s time for you to step in there and take over (sorry, ‘help’).

This only creates unnecessary problems.

Not only are we offending the other person, but we’re also setting ourselves up for frustration and disappointment.

Again, sorry to be brutal but this is controlling behaviour and there’s nothing quite as draining as trying to control other people. Whether it’s your loved ones, co-workers, or even strangers, the effort required to keep everyone in line can take a serious toll on your energy levels.

And yet, we often find ourselves drawn into these situations where we can’t help but jump right in with both feet. Why do that?

Part of it has to do with our need for approval – we want people to like us. We think if we can get them to do what we want, they’ll finally see how great we are.

But the truth is we can’t control anyone/anything, or if we do, eventually it’s going to start causing problems when those who have been on the receiving end get sick of it and rebel or tune us out.

The other problem is that we often try to control people who DON’T want or need our help.

So next time you think it’s time to step in and help, ask yourself:

Is this really something that needs your attention?

Or is it simply a case of needing to let go?

A great alternative if in doubt is just to let that person know you’re there if they need your help.

I know, it’s hard. You’re itching to step in, to tell them what they should do, what you know, to make their decisions for them, to stop them making a mistake… to ‘help’.

Cool your engines. Tell them you’re there if they need you.

Reminding yourself that other people are capable of making their own decisions can be hard, but it’s often the best way to protect our energy levels (and our relationships).