Use Towards Language

NLP Snippets: Use Towards Language

One of the fundamental tenets of Neuro-Linguistic Programming is that our language affects our behaviour.

The words we use and even the verbs we infuse in our conversation can make or break just about anything. One NLP tip that you should be aware of is using “towards language”. This is the type of language that “moves forward” towards a goal or achievement and not “away from” it. Words such as achieve, attain, obtain, acquire, benefits, advantages, are all good examples of towards language.

For example, if you are a parent and you want to motivate your child to study harder, it is easy to say, “If you don’t study well, you will flunk and you will suffer.” Such is the language often used by a lot of parents in an effort get their children to study harder. As a result, they rarely even study. A good alternative is to use towards language. You can say something like, “If you achieve a higher than average score on this final exam, I’ll raise your allowance.” See the power of towards language? You are focusing on the positive rewards of attaining a certain goal. When you do this, you are not just motivating your child to survive, but to succeed and do more than what is expected.


Use Towards Language — 4 Comments

    • Though admittedly threatening to take Anthony’s XBox off him if he doesn’t stop acting like a moody teenager has been quite effective.

      Maybe because that was the deal from the start (expectation management!) or maybe because he’s not actually a teenager yet & just a ‘pre-teen’…

      still, in general I agree with the advice in this post – guide with praise & love more than punishment.

  1. I’ve found it useful to pay attention to language like this. Use the more positive towards language and it can change your mindset in how you see your actions and the world around you. It’s a simple, but great change to make.

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