Can I Be My Own Life Coach?

If you’re reading this page, I assume you have decided to take action and change something in your life.

I can’t recommend life coaching highly enough.

If you’d like to know more about Life Coaching before you continue, then read this article: More About Life Coaching.

Life Coaching is an empowering process that stops you from being a passive spectator of your own life.

No, life doesn’t have to be like this.

Yes, you can do something about it.

The question is: can you be your own life coach?

Can I Really Be My Own Life Coach?

Being your own Life Coach requires you to wear two ‘hats’, that of the Coach and that of the Coachee.  It therefore takes a certain amount of motivation, dedication and discipline to fulfill both roles, though is completely achievable with the right attitude. Do you think you’re ready? Well, answer these questions honestly and we’ll see:

  1. Do you want to change your life more than anything else in the world?
  2. Are you lucid and honest with yourself?
  3. Are you ready for the emotional uphheaval and work involved in this journey?
  4. Do you always go through with the tasks you set yourself no matter the obstacles thrown at you?

It is easy to embark on a life coaching journey. What most people find difficult (even those hiring a life coach) is holding fast and maintaining motivation. If you’ve answered something other than yes to any of the questions above, then you might find being your own life coach difficult, or impossible. In this case, look at this article where you will find other ways of finding free/cheaper life coaching.

If, however, you are 100% determined, 100% motivated, 100% ready for the journey, 100% lucid and honest with yourself, then … let’s start!

What Tools Do I Need?

A quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. A cup or glass of your favourite drink, a pen and a notebook (your journal – read below).

How Do I Coach Myself?

Well, you’re going to be reviewing your progress on a weekly basis, spending up to an hour each week as the Coach (i.e. with your ‘Coaches Hat’ on) reviewing your progress so far and setting goals for the next week. These sessions could be much shorter and are likely to be once you get going, but the initial sessions are likely to be longer as you familiarise yourself with everything, set everything up and take care about the process.

In-between these Coaching Review Days, you will be the Coachee, exercising the tools and techniques you need to move toward your goals and make the changes you’re looking to make in your life.

This schedule is not set in stone, and you can use a different frequency to suit your own circumstances if you need to, but it is important once you have defined a schedule that you are going to follow to stick to it. Don’t change the schedule without a really good reason

I would strongly suggest for starters, at least until you have achieved some of your initial goals and are really familiar with the process, that you stick to the schedule we’ve laid out for you here.

How Do I Get Started?

Make sure that you have some time and won’t be disturbed. If that is now, then I’d encourage you to get started right now, i.e. today is Day 1. In case it’s not, don’t procrastinate, make sure Day 1 is as soon as possible. If it really can;t be today, then make sure you get started tomorrow.

Day 1

Step 1: Get yourself a journal

It can be a simple book, one with a cover that inspires you. I don’t mind what the book looks like. What I really care about is that you use it. This book is going to be your best friend and your best enemy!

Record in your journal everything you do on this journey: your tasks, your doubts, your thoughts, the exercises, your progress, …

Now, you are ready to start. TODAY, you can do steps 2, 3, and 4.

Step 2: Let’s start with the big picture

Before you delve directly into what you want to change and what you think the problem is, do this simple exercise: The Wheel Of Life Exercise.

This simple but effective tool will give you an idea of what is important in your life and where problems are. It’s excellent in that it forces you to consider all the aspects of your life. Even if you’ve done the very same exercise a few years ago, do it again, things change.

The wheel of life will also help you prioritise the areas of your life you want to work on. Start with one area only (the one that will improve your life the most) to give yourself the best chance of success.

Step 3: Set yourself a good goal

Now you need a goal. There is no point in starting the journey if you don’t know where you’re going. Setting the goal is the most important thing you will do in this process. Look at how to set a good goal here (the paragraph after the wheel of life).

Step 4: Now, start working towards your goal

Set a date and time in one week when you’ll review what you’ve done so far and will set yourself more actions. This will be your first Coaching Review Day (Coaching Review Day 1).

Choose a time when you won’t be disturbed for at least 30 minutes (as mentioned above for the very fist session it might be worth taking a little longer but these review sessions should end up being about 30 minutes, ideally at the same time every week).

It is paramount that you stick to this appointment.

Until then, here is your ‘homework’:

  1. practice visualising your goal so you can create a Compelling Future using this exercise: Create Your Compelling Future
  2. analyse your situation as it is now with this exercise: Understand Exactly What The Problem Is

Coaching Review Day 1 (a week later)

Step 1: Review what you have learned/done so far
  • you have a goal you are happy with
  • you can visualise it and build a vivid image of it (did the visualisation exercise work? if yes, continue with it / if not persevere)
  • you have a better idea of the source of the problem through your diary
Step 2: Take the first step.

Now, it’s time to take action. No more excuses. Set yourself a first journey goal to get you started and 2/3 actions that will help you move towards it.

Yes, you might have tried ‘everything’ before and yes, there have been obstacles. But, have you really tried everything? Could you have done more to jump those obstacles?

A life coach’s favourite expression is: ‘What else can you do about it?’ Go ahead and ask yourself this question every time you are reviewing your progress (even if you think you are progressing well).

The more you ask yourself the question, the more ideas will come to your head. Ideas that might have eluded you before. Ideas that you might have rejected at first. Think of all the resources you have (exterior help or internal). Could you draw on them?

Then, decide what your first action will be and give yourself a deadline for it. Be as precise as you can. Record it all in your journal.

Step 3: Other exercises that might help you now or between review sessions

On top of setting yourself precise actions, it might be useful to reflect on:

As mentioned above once you get going you will find lots of articles and resources in our Life Coaching section to help you along the way with whatever you are working on.  This is also constantly updated with new articles and advice to help you.

Step 4: Set yourself a next ‘meeting’ in a week’s time.

Record in your journal your thoughts, decisions and actions to do.

Following Weeks

Continue like this. Work on exercises and actions you have set yourself to move toward your goals between your weekly review sessions. Then review your progress each week (be very honest with yourself).

Following Coaching Review Sessions

Always start with a review of the actions you had set yourself for the past week.

Did you manage to do it all. If yes, great. If not, what stopped you? what else can you do now?

What you didn’t manage to do is actually extremely valuable because, there lies an obstacle (whether internal or external). By analysing the root cause, you will learn a great deal about internal and external obstacles you face and it will help you come up with new ways to overcome them.

Be gentle with yourself. Don’t put yourself down.

Don’t forget to celebrate your successes. Take a minute to think about one thing you achieved in the past week that you can be proud of, something that might indicate that things are starting to change for the best.

If you’ve achieved your short-term goal. Set yourself a new one taking you closer to your end goal.

Set yourself more precise actions for the coming week.

Continue with the goal visualisation exercise to keep your motivation up.

Record everything in your journal and always finish a session by setting a date and time for your next review session (ideally at the same time next week).

What If I Lose Motivation?

The free Life Coaching articles on this website will give you not only the tools and techniques you need for your Life Coaching journey but also plenty of advice on commonly faced problems by both coaches and Coachees (remember you’re going to be both). These include motivation, where to find help, how to tackle difficult problems, how to get control of your time etc. Of course the area of Life Coaching is huge so we won’t have articles on everything.

If there is something that you are stuck with or looking for and you either can’t find an article on that topic or we don’t have it, just let us know and we’ll be glad to help.

What If I Want To Give Up?

If you’ve tried the process but you’re finding it difficult, don’t just give up. We are here to help so let us know, even if you just say ‘I’m stuck’. we will help you work through it. Getting stuck is a very natural part of the process and nobody has all of the answers all of the time. Depending what the problem is, there could be a very simple answer.

I’m Still Not Clear…

Either add a comment below or contact us and we’ll answer any questions you have.

Now It’s Up To You

The key to your success is now within your hands. Perseverance is paramount. There will be plateaux, there will be set-backs. Take the lows with the highs and keep going until you’ve become the person you want to be, until you live the life you want to live.

Do not fear your successes. They will bring unknown challenges and joys.

Be prepared, be open-minded.

Good luck!


Image Credit: Matthew P Sharp



Can I Be My Own Life Coach? — 16 Comments

  1. This is a concept I like. But man it must take some fortitude to pull it off. Do you think it’s possible for people to still make changes at the same pace though? I mean it’s a cool idea, I just can’t imagine that it wouldn’t mean a slower rate of progress.

    • ‘Being your own life coach’ is not for everyone, you’re right. It takes strength and discipline.
      But if you have these attributes, I don’t think rate of progress is necessarily slow. Sometimes, all it takes is one new thought which lights things up in a way you’ve never envisaged before. And then… you leap forward.

  2. Living a balanced life is only half the battle of achieving a relative level of control in life. The other half is all about tapping into ones’ potential to self-develop as an individual and enjoy living life by design.This is where a professional life coach is able to offer a system that feeds positiveness and fire in the belly to take action to turn those initial dreams and goals into something tangible and sustaining.

    • I totally agree, being your own life coach is not about making your life ‘balanced’, it’s about making it what you want it to be. We’ve written a post on Lifestyle Design which complements this one and explains it further. Check it out.
      Thanks for your comment.

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  5. Business consultation and people management is what I was meant to be doing. Is that one way of life coaching?

    • Hi Mika,

      If you look at our post which details how to create and use a Life Wheel then you’ll see that Life Coaching deals with every aspect of life, business/work and relationships included. Though normally the life coaching angle is to look more at fixing imbalances, blocks and stresses in different aspects of our lives that prevent us from moving forwards rather than more ‘technical’ business specifics (such as how teams are formed, how to network or how to communicate effectively) so there is some overlap (e.g. you could use limiting beliefs, compelling future etc to tackle these issues in a business setting) but then there are also more specific business & management tools and techniques where a business coach or consultant would deal with that area in more depth.

      I hope that makes sense but let me know if you’d like more info,


      • Thank you Allan for teaching and telling me about life coaching. I love your site so much as it always helps me in everything.

  6. Just found your site and I love the concept. I am doing life coaching right now for three months to try it out, and I am enjoying the experience. I do believe it is helpful to take a look at one’s life and see how we can make it more satisfying and meaningful. Your post was great for me because I want to learn more about how to be my own life coach when my coaching sessions are over. Thanks for sharing!

    • No problem at all Cathy and thanks so much for leaving a comment to let us know it was of value.

      Feel free to let me know if you have particular questions about any aspect of Life Coaching either here or privately and I’ll do what I can to help,

      take care & best wishes,

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