The First Steps As Your Own Life Coach

First steps in your life coaching journey

This is it, you have decided to be your own life coach.
You know that you’ve got what it takes.
But where do you start?
Follow our guide.

You’re going to fulfill 2 roles: the coach and the ‘coachee’. Beyond all the qualities of self-discipline and motivation we discussed in Can I Be my Own Life Coach, you will need:

  • A quiet place where you won’t be disturbed
  • Dedicated time for your sessions: 1 to 2 hours for the first session, up to 1 hour weekly thereafter
  • A notebook (your Life Coaching Journal): you will use it during and in-between sessions. I strongly encourage you to make good use of it. If you’re not convinced, read this article about why a journal is so important.
  • A cup or glass of your favourite drink.

That’s it.

Bellow, we’ve outlined a precise and structured guide explaining the process.

Life Coaching consists of sessions during which (wearing both hats, that of the coach and the ‘coachee’) you will take stock of where you are, where you want to go, what you can do to get there (actions, exercises) and when you’re going to perform them. In between these sessions, you will be the ‘coachee’ and do the work.

The schedule below is not set in stone, and you can use a different frequency to suit your own circumstances if you need to, but it is important once you have defined a schedule that you are going to follow to stick to it. Don’t change the schedule without a really good reason

I would strongly suggest for starters, at least until you have achieved some of your initial goals and are really familiar with the process, that you stick to the schedule we’ve laid out for you here.

Life Coaching is about taking action, so let’s start now.

Warning: In case you can’t start right now, don’t procrastinate, make sure Day 1 is as soon as possible. If it really can’t be today, then make sure you get started tomorrow and if not, agree now a day and a time when you will start and STICK to it!

Your First Session

Make sure that you have some time and won’t be disturbed. Set aside 2 hours. The first session is the most interesting session and the one that will determine your path and set you on your way. Don’t rush it.

Step 1: Make sure you have your Life Coaching Journal

It can be a simple book, one with a cover that inspires you. I don’t mind what the book looks like. What I really care about is that you use it. This book is going to be your best friend and your best enemy!

Record in your journal everything you do on this journey: your tasks, your doubts, your thoughts, the exercises, your progress, …

Step 2: Let’s start with the big picture

Before you delve directly into what you want to change and what you think the problem is, do this simple exercise: The Wheel Of Life Exercise.

This simple but effective tool will give you an idea of what is important in your life and where problems are. It’s excellent in that it forces you to consider all the aspects of your life. Even if you’ve done the very same exercise a few years ago, do it again, things change.

The wheel of life will also help you prioritize the areas of your life you want to work on. Start with one area only (the one that will improve your life the most) to give yourself the best chance of success.

Step 3: Set yourself a good goal

Now you need a goal. There is no point in starting the journey if you don’t know where you’re going. Setting the goal is the most important thing you will do in this process. Look here at How To Set Yourself a Good And Inspiring Goal.

Step 4: Now, start working towards your goal

Set a date and time in one week when you’ll review what you’ve done so far and will set yourself more actions. This will be your first Coaching Review Day (Coaching Review Day 1).

Choose a time when you won’t be disturbed for at least 30 minutes (as mentioned above for the very fist session it might be worth taking a little longer but these review sessions should end up being about 30 minutes, ideally at the same time every week).

It is paramount that you stick to this appointment.

Until then, here is your ‘homework’:

  1. practice visualising your goal so you can create a Compelling Future using this exercise: Create Your Compelling Future
  2. analyse your situation as it is now with this exercise which through the use of a diary will help you find the root cause of your problems: Understand Exactly What The Problem Is

Coaching Review Day 1 (a week later)

Step 1: Review what you have learned/done so far

  • you have a goal you are happy with
  • you can visualize it and build a vivid image of it (did the visualization exercise work? if yes, continue with it / if not persevere)
  • you have a better idea of the source of the problem through your diary

Step 2: Take the first step.

Now, it’s time to take action. No more excuses. Set yourself a first journey goal to get you started and 2/3 actions that will help you move towards it.

Yes, you might have tried ‘everything’ before and yes, there have been obstacles. But, have you really tried everything? Could you have done more to jump those obstacles?

A life coach’s favorite expression is: ‘What else can you do about it?’ Go ahead and ask yourself this question every time you are reviewing your progress (even if you think you are progressing well).

The more you ask yourself the question, the more ideas will come to your head. Ideas that might have eluded you before. Ideas that you might have rejected at first. Think of all the resources you have (exterior help or internal). Could you draw on them?

Then, decide what your first action will be and give yourself a deadline for it. Be as precise as you can. Record it all in your journal.

Step 3: Other exercises that might help you now or between review sessions

On top of setting yourself precise actions, it might be useful to reflect on:

As mentioned above once you get going you will find lots of articles and resources in our Life Coaching section to help you along the way with whatever you are working on. This is also constantly updated with new articles and advice to help you.

Step 4: Set yourself a next ‘meeting’ in a week’s time.

Record in your journal your thoughts, decisions and actions to do.

Following Weeks

Continue like this:
Between your weekly sessions, work on exercises and actions you have set yourself to move toward your goal.
Then review your progress each week (Important: be very honest with yourself).

You’re going to be reviewing your progress on a weekly basis, spending up to an hour each week as the Coach (i.e. with your ‘Coach Hat’ on) reviewing your progress so far and setting goals for the next week. These sessions could be much shorter and are likely to be once you get going, but the initial sessions are likely to be longer as you familiarise yourself with everything, set everything up and take care about the process.

During the weekly review sessions:

  • Always start with a review of the actions you had set yourself for the past week.
  • Did you manage to do it all?
  • If yes, great. If not, what stopped you? What else can you do now?
  • What you didn’t manage to do is actually extremely valuable because, there lies an obstacle (whether internal or external). By analyzing the root cause, you will learn a great deal about internal and external obstacles you face and it will help you come up with new ways to overcome them.
  • Be gentle with yourself. Don’t put yourself down.
  • Don’t forget to celebrate your successes. Take a minute to think about one thing you achieved in the past week that you can be proud of, something that might indicate that things are starting to change for the best.
  • If you’ve achieved your short-term goal. Set yourself a new one taking you closer to your end goal.
  • Set yourself more precise actions for the coming week.
  • Continue with the goal visualization exercise to keep your motivation up.
  • Record everything in your journal and always finish a session by setting a date and time for your next review session (ideally at the same time next week).

What If I Lose Motivation?

The free Life Coaching articles on this website will give you not only the tools and techniques you need for your Life Coaching journey but also plenty of advice on commonly faced problems by both coaches and coachees (remember you’re going to be both). These include motivation, where to find help, how to tackle difficult problems, how to get control of your time etc. Of course the area of Life Coaching is huge so we won’t have articles on everything.

If there is something that you are stuck with or looking for and you either can’t find an article on that topic or we don’t have it, just let us know and we’ll be glad to help.

What If I Want To Give Up?

If you’ve tried the process but you’re finding it difficult, don’t just give up. We are here to help so let us know, even if you just say ‘I’m stuck’. we will help you work through it. Getting stuck is a very natural part of the process and nobody has all of the answers all of the time. Depending what the problem is, there could be a very simple answer.

I’m Still Not Clear…

Either add a comment below or contact us and we’ll answer any questions you have.

Now It’s Up To You

The key to your success is now within your hands. Perseverance is paramount. There will be plateaus, there will be set-backs. Take the lows with the highs and keep going until you’ve become the person you want to be, until you live the life you want to live.

Do not fear your successes. They will bring unknown challenges and joys.

Be prepared, be open-minded.

Good luck!


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